It's been so long, you probably thought I went the way of so many bloggers this year and just gave up the ghost and unofficially closed the doors here.
Actually, you probably didn't think of me at all, and that's okay, too.
So here I am, on this second-to-last day of 2014, doing a little shout-out to myself and my 2 devoted readers. Wrapping up the year...but not the blog.
I guess without meaning to, I up and took the year off from blogging. I didn't plan on it, had no forethought or master plan. What mostly happened was that I got a job, a real job -- a part-time job, and one that's ideal for the kids' school calendar (holidays and summers off!) but a job nonetheless. The upkeep of certain things took a definite hit -- the laundry, the dust along my baseboards, the general tidiness of the house during the week -- and most especially, the blog.
With the time off and some mental distance from blogging, I could better appreciate what a total and utter failure I was at being a Real Blogger. See, a couple of years ago, at the start of 2012, I set out on what I believed was a sincere attempt to have a Real Blog. With a Real Readership, and a Real Little Niche, and maybe even make some real-life, through-the-interwebs friends. (And maybe even make some Real Money...or at least nab a few freebies?) I even paid money to learn tips from an online blogging e-course.
Reader, I was a dismal failure. Despite hours and hours spent on my tush applying myself to the art and the act of Blogging, I just....really kinda sucked at it. Oh but Reader, how I tried! I focused on commenting regularly on my favorite blogs (building community), on participating in Link Parties and Month-Long Posting Fiestas and writing regular posts and features here and doing All the Bloggy Things. (I even created a Facebook page.) But nothing happened, or changed much. My stats hardly budged. I got no shout-outs, just a few and far-between "Likes." I made no friends, really, despite driving across freeways to other counties and attending Bloggy Events and Putting Myself Out There to local-ish other bloggers.
All for naught. Except that I got better accustomed to sharing my own voice, to putting it out into the ether, and knowing what I like and want from blogs...other blogs, and my own. I learned that simply because a blogger lives in my part of the state, or the same county, or down the street, and shares my same hair or the same job or enthusiasms or astrological sign, it doesn't mean they want to be my friend. Or read my blog. I learned that as an incorrigible introvert, there's a lot of Bloggy Stuff that I'm never going to feel comfortable doing, or pursuing, or writing about.
And that's okay. Blogging is weird, the internet is weird, and people are really, really, weird. Me included. Me especially, maybe.
So, just to be clear: I'm back, and I'm not quitting blogging. There will be some changes here, for sure. Some clarity. Some winnowing down, some fat-trimming. Maybe even a (slight) name change. Who knows? The pressure's off, the stakes couldn't be lower. The core of my deepest loves: day and weekend trips with my family, exploring my beloved home state of California, books and music and random ramblings: that's what my blog is about, that's what I've missed sharing and writing about.
Until the next post:
I'm a big grown-up lady person with kids and college degrees and houseplants, but some days I still need to have that poster tattooed on my forehead. (From the awesome and hilarious brain and Etsy shop of Emily McDowell. )
Happy New Year!